19.2.08

Denied

They called me again the second monday of february, had a final interview with the head of the department. It went well, can't say i did anything wrong. The boss did tell me that there was another candidate that was a little more qualified than i was, having worked hardcore microbiology before and living closer (wouldn't have to move and such). Whereas i had the languages and the worldly education.

And i didn't hear from them for 2 weeks. I finally had it and found and sent an email to the human resources people. The human resources girl that interviewed me first called me up the following day and told me the other guy got it. She didn't have to call me at all, i could've remained in limbo for a little while longer, it was nice of her.

Though it may not be true, i'm going to take this as a didn't get hired because they were afraid of my skills.

The hunt goes on.

I had sort of a phylosophical epiphany this morning.

But first let me get this out of the way. My boss is pissing me off again. He comes in at 9am to request a complicated setup for 2pm (setup requests have to come in at least 24 hours in advance, no the morning before), and then has the balls to tell me off because i had some dirty bottles in my sink. Man i wish i could plow that guy over.

Ok epiphany.

I'm not religious, i'm a self declared atheist. Yes, i finally know the difference between atheist and agnostic, i do deny the existance based on the impossibility of formulating substantial, scientifically testable proof, as opposed to declaring the possibility unknowable (but possible) and keep it in question.

But being an atheist i sometimes think about death. Religious people think of death and depending on their religious outlook they see different things. Most see an afterlife, some think they'll be immediately reborn, and there's a few other ideals but that's for the theists to discuss.

To me, death has always been the ceasing of brain activity and subsequent decay of our molecules into more elemental forms due to bacterial, environmental and hopefully animal action as well. Yeap, rotting mush filled with bugs, worms and bacteria. Yum. But this leads me to a few thoughts of why other people see afterlives and gods and reincarnations.

The world we live in is the way it is because it's how we perceive it, right? I mean, everybody has a different outlook, that's why artists see "beauty" in what another person might otherwise consider "ugly". Same works for me, i see death as material cause with material effect.

And here's my realization. Since there's nothing anybody can do about dying, might as wel dying thinking that the second your brain shuts down, you will become something else, go to a metaphysical sacred place or something like that. I mean, it doesn't matter right? Because once you're dead, there's nothing you can do about it, so might as well die happy.

I guess this is why people, as they get older, become more and more spiritual, and thus try to force this spirituality onto their young early on. And the implications on the world's religions... monstrous.

Afraid of death? Look into the different streams of faith, i'm sure you'll find one post-death experience you may find enticing.

No, i'm not about to go seeking sainthood now. Death is death so enjoy life.