Coffee = work bliss

I've been doing a behavioural modification experiment. The bio teacher brought in a coffee machine for me to make my own coffee. I've opened it up for the public, but i only make it every so often. I send out an email when i make coffee, and they come running. They're so appreciative now! And i wondered what the secret of a highly appreciated secretary was... dependance!



I've forgotten my new-found credo, so i dedicate this to the flying spaghetti monster, bless his holy noodly appendage.

Behold! The Eight I'd really rather you didn't's brought upon us by the FSM:

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier Than Thou *** When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.

2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.

5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******.

6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrin... To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spend (Take Your Pick):
1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of CableI Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?

8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

Check out THE FSM CAUSE.


I've got nothing. I figure that since i've got a lot of "nothing" days, i could write about my dailyish routine. This might shift a bit once i live with ze wife, especially the time i wake up and leave, as we'll only have one car to get by for the time being.

6.00 - Alarm sounds. Wake up, shower, breakfast, pack my lunch, watch the news, out the door by 7am.

7.30 - arrive at main gates of the school, park my car, slowly climb upstairs.

7.40 - Once upstairs i greet everybody around (if there's anyone at all), turn on the hallway computers, unlock my lab, turn off the alarm, turn on the A/C, drop my stuff at my desk, turn on the computer.

7.50 - Washup anything that needs washing, including coffee mug.

8.00 - Go down one floor to obtain my daily dosage of caffeine

8.15 - Sitting at my computer:

- Check emails: yahoo, gmail, gmail, hotmail, yahoo. In that order.
- Read the Questionable Content daily funny.
- Immerse myself in isketchforum to see what's up. This often consumes up to an hour.
- Visit addictinggames to see what's new and whether there's anything worth playing. No luck today.
- Read the news on various news sites.
- Sometimes go into blogger and write something, not very often tho.

11.00 - At this time there's often something to do, whether it be cleaning out the fishtanks, hamster cages etc, or repairing something or another. Today i might get a microscope from a science substitute teacher that needs a little maintainance.

12.30 - Head down to the teacher's lounge to heat my lunch up, then proceed to the cafeteria lunchroom to sit at the back tables to have innane conversations with whomever might be there of the local support staff. It can be fun, but often i do not partake in conversation as i seldom know what the hell they're talking about.

13.30 - Head back up, wash my coffee mug, head back down for more caffeine, chitchat a little with the highschool office girls, then head back up for the afternoon session.

13.45 - Sit at the computer and play whatever online game i come across first to ward of the afternoon's sleepy time, hoping that someone will send in a request.

15.30 - Classes are out, i tour all 4 labs to see if anything requires cleaning up. Often there's nothing, so i head back into my hole for another hour of online gaming while teachers work silently in their offices. I try not to disturb them at this time as it is the only time of the day they have for themselves to catch up with grading and all that.

16.30 - Everyone's gone, i tour the labs once more, straighten out whatever needs to be straightened out.

17.00 - pack up and leave. It depends where, might be home, might be tutoring, or might be the gym. Today's gym time as i haven't exercised much lately and my knees are starting to hurt again.

18.00 - Arrive at home, take a shower if needed, vegetate in front of the TV until wife gets out from work.

20.00 - At the wife's, have dinner, chat a little, and you know.

22.00 - Head home.

22.15 - Once at home, call the wife to announce a safe arrival. Sit at the computer, check all emails, forums.

23.00 - Bedtime.

Fun eh?